People Management by Swami Sukhabodhananda (Transcribed tape)

A University conducted a research & they found, for you to get a job & to sustain the job, 35% depends upon the knowledge of the subject & 65% for you to go up the ladder of success depends upon people’s skills. Just knowledge isn’t sufficient for you to go up the ladder of success. 65% depends upon people’s skills. If you’re good at networking with people skilfully managing people, you can go up the ladder of success & hence this research shows the importance of how you should wisely network with people & hence people management is a very, very important aspect of management being in this world.

There’s a very beautiful real incident, which happened in Thailand, that there was a huge clay, Buddha Idol in a monastery & there was a highway which was being created & therefore the Buddha Idol had to be transferred to another spot & as they were transferring this huge Buddha clay Idol it started raining heavily. The Buddhist monks had to keep the Idol on the ground & they covered it with tent because it was raining heavily. The chief priest in the middle of the night went into this tent to see that the Buddha idol is intact, when he put the torch light on the Buddha clay idol to his great surprise he found that there was a golden light emanating from this clay idol. He was confused he went closer, scratched a bit & the light started becoming brighter & when he removed the clay to his great surprise he found it wasn’t a clay idol, it was a golden idol. And this golden idol is still in Thailand. It’s written at the side, history of this golden idol. It seems that when invaders attacked Thailand, this golden idol was there so they covered the golden idol by clay so that the invaders don’t take the golden idol & it was covered & afterwards people forgot it was being covered & therefore they discovered this golden Buddha idol. This story is so beautiful for it depicts a typical Yogic perspective. Outwardly we’re like clay but inwardly there’s a golden Buddha in each 1 of us. Externally we’re like clay but internally we there’s a golden Buddha in each 1 of us & if I can look at each 1 that externally they may be like clay but internally there’s a GOD hood in each 1 of them & in this perspective if you start relating to people & helping people to allow the inner Buddha to surface out & not get lost in the external, this is a wise way of relating to people.

In working with people if you’ve this perspective there’s GOD hood in each 1 of us & this GOD hood is covered by this ignorant mind as Kabir a great in India says, “Chalti chakki dekh ke diya kabira roye, do pathan ke beech mein sabat bacha na koi.” Kabir says when I look at people Chalti chakki dekh ke diya kabira roye means your mind is constantly like a grinding machine, constantly being grinded & therefore he says that anything in a grinding machine in the grinding stone if it’s put how it’s crushed, in the so called ignorant mind our happiness, our so called GOD hood as though crushed. So if you can go beyond the mind, you can discover the GOD within us & therefore in working with people if we can help people to discover their divine in them & allow the divine to flow, that’s the best way of motivating, empowering people.

All powerful people bring out the best in others. Bring out the GOD in others. All powerless people make people feel bad, make people feel miserable. Please understand in managing people, there’s a melting point in every 1 of us. Be it a dacoit, be it a thief. We should’ve the commitment, we should’ve the perseverance, we should’ve the skill, we should’ve the intelligence to go on, to see that the melting point turns from negativity to positivity.

This happened in the life of Lord Buddha. Lord Buddha was passing through & when he was passing through a forest, people living in the forest, said that please don’t go to this area because there’s a great dacoit called angulimala, & whoever he meets, he kills & cuts the finger & puts it on his neck & therefore he was called as angulimala. Anguli is a thumb, mala is a chain. He used to kill people take their thumb & then put a chain as it were on his neck & he had cut 999 fingers. He was waiting for a 1000 finger & Lord Buddha was passing that side so they all advised him not to go. But Buddha said, “I must meet this person, who’s killing people.” And therefore Buddha went met Angulimala. As Angulimala the dacoit saw Buddha coming, Angulimala recognised he’s a monk & told him, “stop don’t come near me.” Lord Buddha it seems told him, I’ve stopped; it’s you who’re constantly running. Angulimala couldn’t understand this dialogue & therefore this whole conversation turned to such an extent, that Lord Buddha had the commitment to transform Angulimala & made him realise that killing is a simple affair but joining is a very important dimension & therefore by his whole conversation, he transformed Angulimala & the story goes that Angulimala became Lord Buddha’s disciple & he became a monk.

By this example I’m trying to convey to you that Buddha had the commitment to transform & bring the GOD in the other & there’s a melting point in each 1 of us & if this perception is clear & I call this perception as a Yogic perception, if it’s clear that there’s GOD hood in each 1 of us. There’s a parmatma, there’s a higher self in each 1 of us & there’s a jeevatma the lower self in each 1 of us. We’ve to eliminate the lower-self & bring the higher-self; you’ll be able to skilfully manage working with people.

Andrew Carnegie was a very great industrialist in America. He was known for creating among his customers, millionaires. Even customers used to become millionaires & when somebody asked Andrew Carnegie what was his secret of success that even his customers have become millionaires to which Andrew Carnegie said, “The secret of my success working with people is, I’ve the patience of a gold miner.” To dig gold you’ve to remove a lot of dust & you’ll get little gold. In working with people you should’ve the patience of a gold miner. Lot of dust, lot of garbage will come & as it’s removed, you’ll discover gold & that’s what any gold miner knows. Any gold miner knows that to get little gold you’ve to remove lot of dust. Working with people a lot of dust has to be removed to discover a little gold. If you’ve this patience then you can very successfully dexterously deal with people.

There’s a very beautiful incident which happened. It’s said that a group of red Indians came across a beautiful huge treasure box. The red Indians being primitive people at that point of time knew this is a beautiful treasure box, some gold, some diamonds must be in this box but being primitive people at that point of time they didn’t know how to open this treasure box. They tried primitive methods, by jumping on it, using magical spells, they put water, they danced on it. They put fire on it but nothing happened, they got disgusted. They went on the top of the mountain & pushed the treasure box & still the box didn’t open. They cursed & said there must be some magic spell & they walked out cursing. It seems after sometime American soldiers was passing that side. They saw this treasure box & they knew something very valuable was inside this treasure box so what they did, being educated people they knew this box is locked they arrived at the right key, opened the lock & then inside the treasure box was lot of gold, diamonds, rubies. For me this story is very, very significant & beautiful. Each 1 of us are like a treasure box. The wise way is we should find out where people are locked where people are trapped, arrive at the right key & unlock the lock & then you’ll discover the treasure in people but if we act like primitive red Indians then you jump on the treasure box but you’re not working on the lock. So if you can look at each 1 of us, we’re a treasure box. Inside us is the divine but we’re locked by ignorance, locked by some superstition & if we can arrive at the right key & unlock then you’ll find there’s a treasure in each 1 of us & hence the Yogis tell us there’s a jeevatma & parmatma & to discover the parmatma the higher self is very important & we’ve to help people to renounce the lower self & reveal to them the higher self & if 1 does that 1 skilfully deal’s with people.

In all my workshops people ask me this question. Swamijee, how to deal with difficult people? I always tell them to deal with difficult people, 1^st find out where’re you coming from? Are you coming from commitment, are you coming from complain. When you come from commitment a difficult person is an opportunity is a challenge. When you come from complain, the difficult person is a curse. 1^st thing is you’ve to change yourself. Are you coming from commitment are you coming from complain & invariably when people meet difficult people they always complain & when the moment they complain the energy called complain will not give them the power to find out the lock in which they’re locked. But if you come from commitment somewhere the commitment will give you the acuity to discover the key, to unlock the lock & discover the treasure in the other person. So I always answer that to deal with difficult people more than focussing on the other, see where’re you coming from? Are you coming from commitment, are you coming from complain? In the Indian tradition we say, are you coming from sankalpa, sankalpa means commitment. And the moment you come from sankalpa a tremendous intelligence will dawn on you & through that intelligence you’ll be able to use whatever life gives you, rather than being a victim to the situation, you’ll become a victor. So dealing with difficult people 1^st thing I say look into yourself.

The 2^nd thing I say in dealing with difficult people, I call it as the 6Rs, rapport, recognise, recall, rethink, retrain & relook. And if you can use these 6 dimensions skilfully you’ll find lot of power opens up in people management. A study was done & they found interpersonal relationship the most important dimension of interpersonal relationship is rapport building, the art of building is a rapport is the most important dimensions in people’s skills. Now what is rapport? Rapport building is the art of building the bridges amongst people & not walls amongst people. Are you building bridges amongst people are you building walls amongst people. The art of building bridges amongst people is the art of building a rapport.

To give you an example is a real incident which happened in my life. When I was giving a series of talks on Bhagvad Gita in Kolar, which is a part of South-India. I was giving a series of talks & then the principle of a school invited me to come & give a talk in their junior college. So I went there to give a talk in the junior college & it was my 1^st experience going & talking to this school & especially to the college students. As I was entering the college, I found these teenagers mischievously looking at me & singing a film song ‘Dum maro dum’ they were singing a film song & it was like, kind of teasing me. So I was going into the hall, I knew what was up their sleeves. They wanted to create trouble to me. I sat on the dais. The principal was introducing me. There were about 1000 students. All of them were mischievously looking & their body language was clearly telling me, you start your speech & we’ll start our aeroplanes. If I just continue speaking my prepared speech I’ll not be able to even end my speech. So therefore I asked this question as the principal was introducing me, ah, what should I do now to connect to people? I had seen an old English movie of Sidney Poitier, ‘To Sir, with Love’ where the students create a lot of difficulty to the teacher & the teacher built a rapport & since he built a rapport at the end of the movie they became friends. This movie came in a flash in my mind & I said, “Now I’ve to build a rapport.” And to build a rapport the most important principle in rapport building is people like who’re like themselves. I asked this question, what do the children like? They like lot of movies; therefore I started off my speech with film song. When I started off my speech with a popular film song, they were shocked to see a monk quoting a film song instead of a scripture. Now my whole intention was to build a rapport. Then I quoted another film song. I could literally see the children’s eyes opening up & saying ah, this is our Swamijee, he knows our world. And the moment I built a rapport with them I started saying, whatever I wanted to say & for 1 hour there was absolute pin drop silence. And the principal acknowledged me at the end, Swamijee I was so surprised because every speaker the students don’t allow them to complete the speech itself. I only built a rapport.

Have you seen grandmothers feeding grandchildren? The grandchild doesn’t want to eat. The grandmother brings a piece of idli & the grandchild says no. The grandmother says, “What’s in the top of the tree?” The grandchild says, “A crow.” The grandmother asks, “What does the crow do?” The says, “kaa” opens his mouth & mother splashes idli in the mouth.” It’s the same way I make people laugh then I splash whatever I want to splash there & therefore to build a rapport is the most important dimension of people’s skills. So 1^st thing in understanding working with people is learn to build a rapport & 1 of the most important principles of rapport building is people like who’re like themselves.

The 2^nd R is ‘recognise’, recognise what? Recognise people’s blocks. Recognise people’s blind spots. So if you’ve a person who’s difficult understand there’s some block, there’s some lock, there’s some blind spot. You’ve to recognise what block people are trapped in. You can help them only when you know what’s their blind spot. So I say the 2^nd R is ‘recognise’ people’s blocks. Now there’re so many blind spots people’ve. For example 1 of the blind spots is called generalisation trap. In my live workshops I work on this elaborately & there was 1 person who got up & said, “Swamijee all women are flirts.” I was shocked I said, “All women are flirts.” He says, “All women are flirts.” Again I asked, “All women are flirts.” Then he told me, no Swamijee all Western women are flirts, then I further looked into it because I saw the person’s trap was a generalisation trap. He was, he said “All Western women are flirts.” How do you know? He says, “because of my experience & I’ve stayed Swamijee in the West.” & I asked him, “Where did you stay?” He tells, “In only 1 place in Frankfurt.” I asked him, “How long did you stay?” For a long time. I asked him how long, “He said 6 months.” In 6 months staying in a place called Frankfurt, he’s generalising all women are flirts, now all Western women are flirts, he stayed he’s stayed a long time & it’s only 6 months. Then I asked him, how many people’ve you met, how many women have you met? He said “A lot of women Swamijee.” But how many women can you be roughly specific. He said, “at least about 40 women.” I said off the 40 women how many do you really know closely. He said, “10”. Off the 10, I asked him, “how many did you ditch & how many they ditched you?” With a smile he says, “To be very honest Swamijee, 4 I ditched, 6 they ditched me.” Now just see friends, how he’s caught up in a generalisation trap. Friends in working with people you’ve to be very sharp to see what traps, people are caught. Some are caught in generalisation trap & when you’re caught in generalisation trap you’ve to skilfully help people to make them realise, that you’re generalising & when you generalise you’ll miss seeing specifics in life.

I find working with people another trap in which people are caught. I call this is as a forecasting trap. They go on forecasting, they go on projecting & when they go on projecting; before the trouble comes they’re already in trouble. There was a middle age managing director of a company, who hired a young blue eyed blonde as a secretary & this young blue eyed blonde as a secretary, she has gone through many communication workshops & she was very skilful networking with people. She learnt to smile through her eyes, very keeping herself very, very alive. And this orthodox managing director was getting confused that every time the secretary smiles, he was forecasting, ‘I think she’s interested in me.’ In fact she was just smiling but he was forecasting & then it seems 1 day the secretary with a smile told the managing director, “please come home for dinner.” Now this person has this forecasting trap, when the moment she said, please come home for dinner, he started forecasting - definitely she’s interested to have a relationship with me. He felt very happy, wore the best of suits. As he went to her house, his internal self-talk was - ah she called me for dinner, not for lunch & therefore it’s very, very clear, she’s interested in me he started forecasting. When he went to her house, there was candle lit dinner beautiful soft music. The whole ambience proved to him, that she’s definitely interested in a romantic relationship with him. He was very, very happy, he was forecasting. She came offered him wine, they drank wine. Both of them got up & she said, “Please take your coat & come inside the room.” Now he started forecasting - she said take the coat out that means definitely she’s interested in me.  Now he removed the coat & not only removed the coat, he removed the pant & the shirt also. And inside the room the secretary said, “Please come carefully because it’s dark” & this person was outside the room. When she said it’s dark come carefully, again he’s forecasting mind said – definitely she’s interested in me. Why the room has to be dark & therefore whatever little dress he had on him, he even removed that. Naked he goes into the room. The room’s dark, suddenly the light is put on & all the members of the staff started singing, “Happy Birthday to you.” It was his birthday, they wanted to give a surprise & he comes with a Birthday suit i.e. naked. And if you’ve this forecasting pattern in your mind & you’ll never be with what is, you’ll always go on projecting on something which is in the future.

In life there’re infinite things you’ve there’re infinite things you don’t have & if you always look on what you don’t have’s a sure way of being unhappy. Listen to this beautiful example; it seems Mullah Nasserudin a Sufi character was very, very sad & his friends come to him & say, “Why’re you sad Mullah?” & Mullah tells his friends, “because my uncle has passed away & in his will he has donated Rupees 5,000,000/-. His friends were shocked, they said, “Mullah I know that uncle of yours, he has given you 5,000,000/- of all the nephews he has given you & secondly that uncle’s a very old man. You must be very happy.” Mullah said, “That’s not the point, 3 weeks ago another uncle has died & he has donated Rupees 6,000,000/-.” Again the friends told, “Mullah you must be very happy, of all the nephews, they’ve given you & that uncle who has died is an old man. He’s 95 years old. You must be happy.” Mullah says, “That’s not the point. Yesterday another uncle died & in his will he has donated Rupees. 10,000,000/- & he has died.” Again the friends were shocked & said, “Mullah that uncle who has died, he’s 105 years old of all the nephews he has given you, you’ve so many millions of Rupees, you must be very, very happy.” But that’s not the point, says Mullah. The friends get so annoyed, he says, “What the hell’s the point?  I’m not able to understand why you’re unhappy?” Mullah says, “I’m unhappy not because they donated money to me. I’m unhappy not because they died. I’m unhappy because there’re no more uncles to die.”

Now friends just look, what an effective way of being miserable! A lot of people are like this, they always get focussed on what’s missing. Infinite things we’ve. Infinite things we don’t have & if you’re always drowned on what you don’t have, you start invalidating what you’ve. And if this invalidating pattern of the mind exists, such a person you put him in heaven, he’ll convert heaven into hell. And therefore friends working with people you’ve to find out what trap, people are in, you’ve to recognise their block so some people have generalisation trap. Some people have forecasting trap. Some people go on getting focussed on what’s missing. Then people ask me Swamiji, we shouldn’t focus on what’s missing. I say no, you should be grateful to what you’ve & you should work on what you don’t have. Not that you should focus on what’s missing. Whatever you’ve be grateful, rejoice, be happy & work on what you don’t have. And therefore friends like this there’re multiple traps an individual has got & therefore, the 2^nd important dimension in dealing with difficult people’s recognise their blocks, what blocks? There’re multiple blocks. So 1^st is build a rapport, 2^nd is recognise the block & 3^rd R is recall the block. What’s recall? Now if somebody’s very, very difficult their difficulty might’ve emerged from their childhood. You’ve to heal their childhood so often therefore I call it as recall. I’ve seen so many people when they’re young have been sexually abused & if they’re sexually abused as a child & even if they’re married the scar of their sexual abuse as children continues & that will start interfering in people’s marriage. 1 husband complained to me that my wife isn’t free in a relationship with me Swamijee. I worked with her separately I asked what’s your problem, & I found his wife had undergone sexual abuse when she was a child & therefore that scar still continues in her. And when she’s married even though the husband’s a beautiful person, but the memory of her childhood abuse still starts interfering in her daily life of her relationship with a good husband. And therefore I’ve seen lot of people there’s a dissatisfaction of the past, which gives a distaste to the present, which leads to the distrust to the future. And if this happens is a sure way of being miserable. So there’s a dissatisfaction of the past, which leads to a distaste to the present. Now this girl, this lady had a sexual abuse, there’s a dissatisfaction of the past. Now at present her husband’s a beautiful person but the past is interfering in the present, so there’s a distaste to the present. It’s like eating a sweet with a wrapper on. Something’s sweet but the wrapper prevents you in experiencing the sweetness. So the dissatisfaction of the past leads you to the distaste to the present. The distaste to the present leads you to the distrust to the future & when you distrust the future you always live in doubt, doubt & doubt & doubts starts killing people. So therefore please see your past is unhappy, the present becomes unhappy, the future becomes so foggy & unhappy when you start doubting, doubting & when you start doubting the Lord in the Gita says, “kshmshai atma vinashtati” A person constantly doubting he’s nearly perished.

Have you seen some people, they tell a lie, they can’t even trust their lies also. Mullah Nasserudin a sufi character found lot of kids making noise in front of his house. So Mullah came out & told the kids, “Sheikh Abdullah is distributing gold coins for his 60^th marriage anniversary about 5 streets away. The moment Mullah told this lie so that the kids will run away & he can sleep peacefully, all the kids ran & as all the kids ran, Mullah is also running behind. His wife told Mullah, “Why’re you running?” Mullah said, “I know I’m lying but in case the lie becomes true.” He can’t even trust his own lie. Mullah is a beautiful sufi character, which lot of stories are spurned round him to him to convey beautiful truths.

How people can’t trust, Lord Krishna in the Gita says, “Shraddhavaan labhate gyanam“ you need trust to live life wisely & if you doubt, you can’t even trust. So there’s an incident in the life of Mullah that he was on a multi-storey building. The whole building was on fire. People came out & said, “Jump from the building, we’re holding the carpet because there’s no other way for you to come. Mullah on the top of the terrace, looks & them & says, “Don’t think I’m such a stupid guy to get fooled by you. I can’t trust you people.” The friends said, “Mullah jokes apart there’s no other way, jump on the carpet & thus we’ll save you. We’re holding the carpet.” Mullah says, “I can’t trust you.” Now what’s the alternative, asked the crowd & Mullah said, “Keep the carpet on the ground & then I’ll jump.” There’re people who can’t even trust & this is what happens. There’s a dissatisfaction of the past which leads you to a distaste to the present, which leads you to a distrust to the future & now when that happens life becomes miserable & therefore difficult people, invariably you’ll find there’s a victim to their past.

So when I say recall, I mean if a person’s difficult recognise the block. If the block is generalisation, is the trap. The 2^nd is recall, how this block has emerged in them. What has been the genesis, maybe it’s childhood & if it’s childhood somewhere you’ve to learn to heal the childhood block. So therefore recognise, recall. After recalling then you should help that person to rethink differently. Rethink, rethink means make him think differently. Please understand there’re 3 E’s. If you understand these 3 E’s, it’ll help you very much. 1 is there’s an environment E, 2^nd experience, 3^rd E is education environment, experience, education. Now people are impacted by the environment. If you’re living with all negative people the environment will’ve a negative e impact. The chance are it’ll have a negative impact. Experience is now a person may’ve gone through a bad experience like child abuse. So experience also alters your life. Environment also alters your life. Powerless people are a victim to environment, victim to experience. But powerful people bring the 3^rd E called education & if you bring in the education then irrespective of the environment, irrespective of the experience you’ll use education wisely & if you can use education wisely then you’ll see when bad things happen to good people they become better & not bitter. So this aspect of education is very, very important in making life very beautiful. If you continue doing what you’ve done you’ll get what you’ve got, is a famous management jargon. Learn to think differently, look at all scientists they always have thought differently.

Please listen to this example it may not be a very pleasant example but it’s a very true example. In English the word bullshit means useless, means scrap. But some creative person looked at bullshit with creative eyes, he thought differently & thus Gobar gas came into existence. So therefore what’s considered as crap, because he thought differently, he could create gas out of it & he became rich. This’s what is called rethink. Look into the life of Walt Disney, who created the Mickey Mouse, etc. Lot of his cartoons were rejected & it seems, a person called him to draw cartoons & he was in a garage of a certain church. The garage was infested with rats. The rats were going up & down, up & down & Walt Disney with creative eyes he went on looking at the rats. And as he was looking at the rats there, suddenly this idea came of the Mickey Mouse. When Mickey Mouse was created & you know, kids are crazy of Mickey Mouse. And Walt Disney became such a rich person. He thought differently so rethinking’s very, very important in life. 1^st in dealing with difficult people, learn to build a rapport. 2^nd is recognise people’s blocks. 3^rd is recall, look at their genesis, 4^th rethink 5^th is retrain. Thinking differently is 1 thing; you’ve to train people to act on their different thinking. That’s why in my workshops called “life” I tell people how to be happy & make them act on happiness & therefore the end of my workshops people will be literally dancing out of ecstasy physically dancing. I not only make them think differently, I make their body act on the different thinking. This’s called retraining. And lastly relook. Relook freshly with new eyes, you look there & see, what has worked, what has not worked with dealing people & each time you look freshly, newly & new idea may emerge & therefore in dealing with difficult people what’s very, very important is applying the 6 R’s. 1^st learn to build a rapport with people, 2^nd recognise their block, 3^rd recall their block, 4^th rethink, 5^th retrain, 6^th relook, what has worked, what has not worked & if has not worked again, recognise what’s the block & thus working with them proactively is coming from commitment & not coming from complain. And if 1 can skilfully go through this then you’ll find there’s a melting point in each 1 of them, you’ve to only arrive at the right key to unlock their lock & then you’ll find a great hidden treasure within each 1 of us & therefore in Yoga there’s a Sanskrit expression which says, “Jeevatma Parmatma” Jeevatma is the lower self Paramatma is the higher self. Everybody has the higher self, lower self, at present we’re locked into the lower self & motivating empowering people is making them get locked into the higher self & not the lower self. This process is empowering people for that to happen you’ve to come from commitment & not from complain.

In working with people building a rapport is a skill that 1 has to constantly sharpen. I find roughly, if you can break people into 2 dimensions. Some people are logical, some people are kinaesthetical & in fact people are logical & kinasthetical. Now in building a rapport if people are logical, talk to them logically & then you’ll build a rapport. If some people are kinaesthetic, playful, talk to them playfully & then you’ll build a rapport. So find out are they logical type or there’s a kinasthetical type. And if you can empower & motivate people to bring the feeling & the logic then when logic & feeling both emerge that person becomes a very whole person.

In Sanskrit there’s a beautiful expression which says, “If a stupid person learns logic, the logic becomes stupid.” Just being logic without feeling then the person becomes stupid. Somebody wants to learn logic & therefore he went to a professor & asked this question to him, “I want to learn logic, will you teach me?” The professor of logic said, “Logic is very simple, okay I’ll teach you right now. Do you like fishes?” He said, “Yes” that means the professor says, “Then you like water.” He asked, “What’s the logic?” Because fishes like water so therefore you like fishes, yes, that means you like water, because fishes like water. So this person nodded his head. Then he said, “Then you like everybody.” He says, “How I like everybody?” Because everybody likes water, so therefore I’m teaching you logic. You like fishes, yes, that means you like water that means you like everybody because everybody likes water. Therefore you like everybody & therefore you’re not a homosexual. Now this the 1^st class, now, he said, okay I’ve learnt logic. He went home & met his friend who was a vegetarian. He told his friend you know I’ve learnt logic. The friend said, “You’ve learnt logic, will you teach me?” He said, “I’ll teach you.” “Do you like fishes?” He asked him & that friend said, “No I don’t like fishes.” Then he said, “That means you’re a homosexual.” See this is what’s said, if a stupid person learns logic, the logic becomes stupid & therefore please understand it, it’s just not logic in life, it’s feeling also. And therefore both these dimension of feeling & logic are there hidden in each 1 of us. It all depends what surfaces out & what’s hidden. In dealing with people, you’ve to build a rapport, what’s visible. You’ve to invoke what’s invisible. And if you invoke what’s invisible, you’ll have a healthy relationship with people & therefore people management rapport becomes such an important dimension.

In people management another very important dimension is your whole approach towards people. What’s your important approach towards people? You’ve to learn to be a powerful leader in life. And to be a powerful leader in life, what’s very important are different leadership styles. There’s 1 style of leadership which is an authoritative style, which you know very authoritative, 2^nd leadership style is a negotiating style, 3^rd leadership style is a persuading leadership style, 4^th leadership style is an empowerment leadership style & a good powerful leader has all the 4 styles in him. There’re some people who’re only authoritative. They only bulldoze people. You’ll find you can never build a rapport with people. The 2^nd people who always negotiate again, it’s not very healthy if you’re only negotiating. Some people are very good in persuading but for everything they’ll go on persuading & that’s also not a healthy style & the 4^th is an empowerment style. Empowerment style includes all the 3 but doesn’t get limited to all the 3. An empowering leadership at times he’s authoritative, at times he’s negotiating, at times he’s persuading, & therefore he includes all the 3 at the same time. He approaches lock & key approach, what’s the lock, what’s the key? & therefore in people management the flexibility of all the 4 styles is very, very important.

A next dimension in people management is the style of your communication. Communication plays a very important dimension in the Bhagvad Gita, they say there’re 3 styles of communication, 1 is called “Vidhandavada” 2^nd is “Jalpavada” 3^rd is “Samvada.” Vidhandavada there are 2 people are talking. I don’t like the other person & since I don’t like the other person, my whole intention is to make the other person wrong. That’s called Vidhandavada. 2^nd is Jalpavada, I present a point of view, somebody points out the fallacy of the point of view. I know I’m wrong but I still hold on to the point of view because I’ve said it. It’s called Jalpavada. If you look into people, some people want to make others wrong. Some people want to prove themselves, now this is not a healthy communication. The Bhagvad Gita talks about Samvada the 3^rd type of communication where I’m not interested in proving myself, not interested in proving somebody wrong. I’m more interested to see, what’s truth, not my truth but what is truth & when 1 comes from the background of Samvada I’m interested in truth not point of view & when you communicate in that style, Samvada communication’s a typical Yogic approach & Kabir in 1 of his doha says, “Such a person when he speaks, aaisi vani boliye mann ka aapa khoye, auran ko sheetal kare, aapho sheetal hoye.” He speak in such a way, where your words cool the other & also cool yourself & therefore the Veda says, “rasovaisaha” keep your whole being juicy & when a juicy person when he speak, ‘juhua mein madhumatama’ honey will flow through your tongue. Honey will flow through your tongue & hence this communication operating from Samvada is another very important dimension in the perspective of Yoga.

The most important dimension in people’s skills, from the Yogic perspective is operating from emptiness & fullness. You’ve to learn the art to operating form emptiness & fullness. That’s why this mudra is called ‘Chin Mudra’ if you see Hindu GODs they’re in a mudra called ‘chin mudra,’ where their pointing finger merges with the thumb. When the pointing finger merges the thumb, inside both of it there’s emptiness. At the same time it’s fullness also. It’s called ‘chin mudra.’ In working with people, you’ve to learn to be empty when people criticise you, when people give accusations to you. If you can just learn to be empty, if you act out of fullness, is the most important Yogic skill working with people. At any point of time, you’ll have people criticising you & if people are criticising you, practice the chin mudra. Just be empty & if you’re empty the words will never affect you. And when you’ve to talk to them, act on them, then act out of fullness for this emptiness can be viewed as emptiness. This emptiness is also viewed as fullness & this is the meaning of the word chin mudra & therefore the most important eastern Yogic approach is being with people inwardly be empty so the others criticism don’t affect you. When you act the same emptiness becomes fullness & when you act out of fullness the power of fullness will start motivating people. Very important in life while motivating others, you also have to keep yourself motivated & for that to happen learn to be empty & learn to convert the emptiness as fullness. And if that skill you develop, then a very powerful dimension opens up.

If a flute is given to a musician like Hari Prasad Chaurasia, he can create magic out of the flute. Lord Krishna has a flute, now if you look at a flute it’s empty but in the hands of Lord Krishna or any flute person he knows how to use the emptiness so beautifully that beautiful music comes out of the flute. Exactly in the same way, life’s empty if you know how to use emptiness wisely, music will come. And therefore flute in Lord Krishna’s lips means learn to use the emptiness with fullness. But if an unintelligent person is given a flute only noise will come out of the flute but to a musician when a flute is given, music flows & this is the Eastern message that can you be empty like a flute in 1 way flute is empty in another way the same emptiness has fullness. So to life if you can be empty & out of emptiness when you operate it becomes fullness & therefore to operate from emptiness & to operate from fullness is the meaning of chin mudra & with this background if you can network with people, you’ll not only empower yourself but you’ll also empower others & this is the Yogic approach in dealing with people. Please listen to this tape more than once & develop the skill of how to skilfully network with people. May GOD bless you.

N.B.: - Words in Italic are in Sanskrit.

Reference:

People Management mp3 file length 49 minutes 38 seconds, size 67.95 megabytes. Sukhabodhananda, Swami. www.pravachanam.com. February 19, 2012. http://www.pravachanam.com/browse/english/selfdev_talks/swami_sukhabodhananda (accessed August 1, 2015).