A significant learning learnt in Gurudwara

2 weeks ago on 6^th of November I commemorated Guru Nanak Jayanti. Shri Guru Nanak Saheb was a significant man. 1 of his quotes that had a big impact on me was “Speak only that which will bring you honour.” I’ve followed this principle since my childhood days. I never think or use blasphemous or cuss words against anyone, even when they hurt me. I’ve noticed that since a decade many people don’t mind using profane words, they use it even in front of women & small children. This makes them follow the same habit at their work premises. I’ve encountered many small children using bad words against their seniors & elders. I’ve even encountered men & women belonging to educated & affluent families, living in high class society using disturbing, offensive & provocative words which one can easily avoid. Movies that refrained from using foul language now prefer to use it. Their rationale is that it’s used by the society & they only show that happens in the society, however such scenes can influence many young minds. Many don’t hesitate using blasphemous language as they see an established or senior actor or an actress using it & think that there’s nothing wrong in it. Some feel that abusing is a way to decrease frustrations & it cools down their mind.

Many families call me at their residence to give motivational lectures. There are many psychologists more experienced than me however they prefer me. Its main reason is the simple language I speak & noble words I use that I’ve learnt from many people like Sri Sri Ravi Shankarjee, Sant Rajinder Singhjee Maharaj, Satya Narayan Goenkajee, etc.

Life gives us many challenges, impediments, setbacks, etc. During that time when one refrains from using foul language then it triggers his/her brain to use other words or good words or meaningful words.  For example if one wants a have a candy however for some reasons he/she doesn’t get it then he/she automatically thinks of some other option to have & may think to have a chocolate.

Seva or giving service is extremely significant amongst people following Sikhism. Guru Nanak Jayanti reminded me of a good incident of which I was a part of & it taught me a good lesson of life. I was a in my teens that time & had attended Gurudwara. The Gurudwara had a big shoe & slipper rack. There were many children of my age & we were asked to clean (dust) shoes & slippers of everybody. I felt very enthusiastic to do this & I cleaned many shoes & slippers. The rationale of this activity was to inculcate the significance of Seva or free service in children’s mind.

As a child while going to play I was supposed to reach home at a particular time as punctuality was significant at home. At times I used to play more than the number of hours my parents used to allow. This used to make them angry & they used to lock me in a balcony. However I never used to feel low or upset being locked. In the balcony I used to clean & polish all the shoes. This used to keep my mind occupied with something positive. The learning of Gurudwara used to help me channelize my negative emotions.

Later while doing my Graduation & Masters in Psychology I learnt about a Sigmund Frued’s defence mechanisms. 1 of the defence mechanisms was ‘sublimation’ & it’s considered as a matured defence mechanism. Sublimation in Psychology means someone taking their inappropriate or negative thoughts or feelings & channelling it in a way that’s more socially acceptable or transforming unwanted impulses into something that’s meaningful i.e. doing something valuable or doing something that’s less harmful.

N.B. The activity conducted in Gurudwara was completely on a voluntarily basis & wasn’t forced, hence it shouldn’t be misunderstood as child labour. Such activities are often conducted so that a person understands humility, remains humble & considers everyone a part of his family.

Reference: -

Sigmund Freud, ‘Civilisation and Its Discontents’ (1930) in The Standard Edition Of The Complete Psychological Works of Sigmund Freud – The Future of an Illusion, Civilization and its Discontents, and Other Works, trans. by James Strachey (Hogarth Press; London, 1961), vol. XXI, 79–80.